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How deeply have you loved? Anyone-  your mother / father, your husband / wife, your boyfriend / girlfriend, oh your siblings / cousins / grandparents,  your friends or your boss / co-workers and hey, your favourite cartoon character even 😛

Just how deeply? And how much have you expressed? A lot? 

Have you felt that gnawing pain inside when that person has not reciprocated (how you want them to)? Say you wanted them to text you that they miss you, return your call or text, Pick up flowers for you, not appreciate something you did for them, did not appreciate the love you showered on them, et all. 

I bet a lot of people told you how “love” is selfless and giving without expectations.  Sure, it is. We all nod along to those people who make us feel so petty for expecting and far worse, they make us feel guilty for ‘expecting’. They tell you “Hey, I keep my expectations low in life and that way i am happy”. Even those who advice thus, get hurt.  Ever thought what those pearls of wisdom could really mean? In my opinion – not all those who preach and practice this even understand what it means, probably. Let us take a shot in understanding what it could probably mean.

But to be human is to have expectations, right? Expecting is not a bad word, it is not wrong. It is human to “expect”. What does this ‘expectation’ mean? where does it lead? Satisfaction, maybe? Happiness, even? 

So, they say keep your expectations real. Meaning, if you expect a particular individual to act a particular way during a particular set of circumstances: it would mean you have choreographed the play and if something goes astray, it would end up not meeting your expectations, ergo you get upset. Do you want to channelise all your energies into choreographing the moments in life instead of say, “living” the moment?

Having said that, let us come back to “love”, from which stems certain kinds of expectations that we are talking about here: 

  • We have emotionally invested in the person. It is always hard to lose an investment.
  • As human beings we are inclined to want to “fix” things” – to make it all go right. The problem is that the other person’s version of what is “right” is different from yours.
  • We are addicted to the “feeling” (also read “happiness” which we think is derived because of the other person) Love and lust are addictive emotions. When the source of those feelings are stripped away, one tends to try to do everything they can to get that person back, to even out that chemistry/ equation again.

Instead, would you consider loving yourself exactly how you pictured / choreographed / expected  “_____fill in the blank” to pay attention to you? to love you? to bring you those flowers? to give you that hug? to be kind to you? to treat you nice? to take you out? to take you travelling?

If you do not consider the possibility of loving yourself or doing all those things, why should you expect another to do it for you? 

Consider channelising your energies into making smaller things a reality. Take a solo trip, believe me I did and I do!  Or pursue whatever your interests are

Tell yourself how no one can love you more than you love yourself. Treat yourself to those small little things : dinner / movie / scone / pastry / saree / jeans / the dance class you always hoped you would go. Most of all, be kind to yourself.

Accept yourself, be love struck about yourself, make yourself a priority, then you will automatically appreciate everyone around you and even look out to ensure your first priority is yourself and accept that another’s first priority is themselves.

Romantic relationship or not, these disappointments and the pain inside can be cured with a simple switch, a simple tilt of antenna towards yourself.  Happiness is from within! Have you told yourself lately that you love yourself?, have you done something nice for yourself? Try it.

Set an example and standard on how you must be treated. Set the standard as high as you are willing to do it for yourself! That, in my opinion, takes care of love and expectations!

Read books that help you:



I belong not in this chaos,
I belong not in this calm;
I belong not in Friendship,
I belong not in Kinship.

I belong in hearts of some,
I belong in thoughts of some;
I belong to the earth that’s ours,
I belong to the time, that’s mine?

I belong, I hope, in this earth,
I belong, I hope, in the present;
I belong, I hope, in the Change,
I belong, I hope, in Peace.

I belong in my hope,
I belong to my reality;
I belong in my hard-work,
I belong to my free-will, that’s mine?


O’ Kadhal Kanmani, He said – POEM

Pic Courtesy: Siddant Chaturvedi, Instagram

O’ Kadhal Kanmani, he said

He entered, as I had accepted to be,
A single life, i thought as it went;
He changed the thought as it was to be, 
A cold breeze on a summer night.

He wore a smile and his white Tee,
A name he shares with the Cricket star;
He carried a deep voice hooking me,
A Promise that we will sail far.

He said with ease “i love you”,
A grandeur and a fuss on every date;
He carried the look “i get you”,
A linger & sweet memories that it left.

He cooked & Loved,
A sweet meal in one date;
He hugged & smiled,
A way into my heart.

He admired my guts, brain, eyes and heart,
A time he begged me stay & not depart;
He said complicated from start & that he the narcissist;
A feeling in the stomach; yet warmth in my heart.

He had me feel, he is the only one,
A request to me to move cities;
He was the dream, the perfect one,
A sweet lie I chose to freeze.

His voice calling me “meri jaan” & “O’ Kadhal Kanmani”,
A locking of our eyes, Oh a beautiful life;
He raced my heart, said he was always there,
Alas! what a beautiful lie.




Yet again that SMILE, the Charming;
Clueless Prince, Emotions surging;
Yet again the dreams, heart warming,
Narcissistic, Mysterious, and Misleading;
Yet the Yearning, soon after Seeing,
Hopelessness, emotions over-reacting!!




Blessings in life, rich or poor;
‘Tis the breath, air and earth.
Moments of life, being present;
Tis the experiences: from present.
Live in the moment, carpe diem;
Tis the moments of present, the past.
Recounting past, the clock set behind;
sweet memories, killing the present.
Blessed you are, why though?;
Is it the power, beauty or riches?
Must be the looks, money and talent?;
No: Tis just that you ARE- the present.


Mental Sanitation – Are you seeking or Obsessing?

Passion, information ‘gathering’ about a thing / person, being ambitious about a goal, enjoying a hobby, liking something or someone, consist of measured efforts taken to achieve the goal- viz information / thing / person / achievement. The pleasure lies in both the journey and the end game. All of that is perfectly healthy- for the self, I mean!

Obsession is being possessed with an idea of finding something/ getting something. Obsession is purely about the idea. The pleasure of end game / what/who is sought becomes immaterial. Root cause for obsession could be anything from “proving to someone or proving to self” without any touch with reality / practicality / acceptance of circumstance or failures.

It is just a thin line between seeking out information/ being ambitious / liking something Or someone – to crossing over to obsession. The thin line itself is a very sharp piece of ice trying to warn you not to cross over to a side that is filled with thorns.




Abhinandan- True hero

Flying across borders, Vigilant with his mission;
Aiming beyond LoC, Shot by rogue elements;
Alerting himself where he is, Plane wreck in soil foreign;
Nation’s interest foremost, swallowing papers torn.

Oh brave Abhinandan, did he see it coming?;
Repeated terrorists’ lashes, Pak army taking in;
What is so pleasant, Except tea lip smacking;
Resolved in his mind, Braved the merciless Foreign.

Khan wanted talks, Indians prayed for him;
Abhinandan‘s bravery stood, making Indians strong;
Indians discussed views, His Safety one – but politics and elections coming;
Our Wing commander Patriot, Hand him over Pakistan.

Where is humanity?, Negotiating peace and convention;
Are we doomed, is war the calling?;
Nations now know Abhinandan, Media is bane and boon;
Wagah border becomes special, Welcoming back, Abhinandan !




Seasons come seasons go,
To be or not to be, The eternal wait.

Sunshine again, night is out,
Thy could bellow Just no!

Summer gone, winter too,
‘Tis Spring but The eternal wait!

Thy hath important things to do,
Bad memory colour seasons white.

Where art thou, seasons have passed,
‘Tis not future of nation!
‘Tis question is simply to be or not~

Advocate, Chennai



Class he looks, Crass he writes
This Gem boy I know, man he definitely is,
Possesses wealth of knowledge though carries that temper,
He stands for the right and ambushes the wrong.

Class he looks, crass he writes
This sweetness I know, reserved otherwise he is,
Loves his cinemas and being drama king to the core,
Despises being captured despite smile that is charming.

Class he looks, crass he writes
Opinionated man I know, beautiful heart his is.

Advocate, Chennai

Movie Review

“Gully Boy”

Zoya Akhtar has brought another level of freshness!

The story shows the independent lives and struggles faced by the couple Safina (Alia) and Murad (Ranveer) which is independent of their love for each other. Zoya has kept out the cliche script – where girl meets boy and one of them is trying to adjust their life around another’s struggle.

Fantastic acting by pretty much entire cast and MAN that’s huge! The eye candy, the great find of Zoya – MC SHER (played by the cute and sexy – new face – Siddhant Chaturvedi) stands out for his performance. My friends and me walked out of the theatre being convinced he was a rapper in real life until we read up and that this is his debut movie! Siddhant Chaturvedi with his delectable looks and talents sounds promising and he is definitely going places in his life!

Gully Boy – redefines perceptions ! 

Advocate, Chennai